Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
