Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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