Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Randomize
