you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
