you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
