shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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