My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Princesses don't give blow jobs
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
All the doctor said was why
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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