SEEEEXXX PLEASE
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize