My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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