You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
You took a bar mat shot.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
40s are totally the cure
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
