I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
