did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
