Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
