I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
You can't motorboat a personality
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
This house was built for laser tag.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
