i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
