trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
