It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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