I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
