Don't you send me to vm
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
