haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
You're like the curious george of whores
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
