Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
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