sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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