You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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