Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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