Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
