you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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