Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
