So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Randomize
