did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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