No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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