i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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