This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
