My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Randomize
