i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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