I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Randomize
