the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
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