brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
