He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Randomize
