ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Randomize
