Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
