my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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