So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
