Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
