we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
