i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
