another moral hangover. fuck.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
