I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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