They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
