Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
