I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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