Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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