Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
