im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize