for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
So I just went to clothing optional bar
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
