Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
