and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
