i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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