these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Small penises have feelings too.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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