be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
